With Valentine’s Day approaching quickly, couples from all over the nation begin the preparation for the official day of love. With this, another portion of the population prepares to spend Valentine’s Day with friends, family or a self-care day.
Love is a complicated subject and feeling for anybody and everybody, despite how naturally it may seem to outside viewers; for those already dealing with one of the biggest stepping stones in life this complication may add to it. The stepping stone in question- one’s teenage years.
The teenage years come with many firsts: first days of middle school and high school, first big school dances such as Homecoming and/or Prom and for many, their first relationship- or even one’s first love.
For many teenagers, it may seem that due to either seeing peers in relationships, watching media such as teen romance films, teens in shows and social media having seemingly “perfect relationships,” being in a relationship is something important to experience in high school. This can then lead to unrealistic expectations and self destructing behavior among teens who are navigating their first, and/or first serious relationship.
Despite high school relationships being the source of pressure for teens, it is important to understand that love is different for everyone, and the pressure that is created through social media, peers and in many cases, unrealistic movie/show consumption should not be a dictation on the speed to have a relationship.
“There will be changes and pressures in a relationship, but growing as a person and learning from relationships is all a part of growing up,” explained Taylor Irvin, high school counselor, conveying the importance of going at one’s own pace at any age.
Apart from pressures, breakups may be one of the, if not the biggest thing that panic teens when going into a relationship, as there may be a valid fear of being let down, getting heartbroken or other situations.
When navigating a hard breakup for the first time, some may feel more vulnerable than ever, as they may have never gone through some sensations before, with Irvin explaining it can “feel like the end of the world.”
Irvin noted that when going through a breakup, one of the biggest things teens can have is a strong support system, whether that be friends and/or family. Moreover, she explained trying to process emotions, keeping busy with hobbies, practicing self care and spending time with loved ones to be positive ways to get through this difficult time. Moreover, she especially voiced not to go through an ex’s social media during the breakup process.
Although one might think of the pressures and breakups, it is also important to mention the beauty of a first relationship, as the growth and memories of a first relationship/first love will most likely have an impact on not only future relationships, but on the view of love.
Despite whether a relationship ends or not after high school, a first love is something that one will never forget, as positive traits, values, boundaries and more can be created through this relationship.
“It is important for teens to learn how to create a healthy relationship with practicing and learning open and honest communication, showing mutual respect, setting clear boundaries, and being true to themselves with their own identity,” concluded Irvin.
